your thighs won’t touch if you have my head between them
this post will solve all insecurity issues i swear
consent is a hell of a thing aint it
those times when you stretch and end up cracking a joint so loud its just
the lady at the sandwich shop today was like “that’ll be 4.20 luv, would you like it toasted?” and i nodded and said “blaze it” and the guy working the sandwich toaster lost it
Remember in the 90’s there used be a room in your house that was called the “computer room”.
never ever apologize to me for your dog being too excited to see me
a dog could knock me to the ground and give me a black eye and I would still hug it and love it because dogs hurt because they love too much I love dogs
i like that we say “oh, man” to express disappointment
because men are disappointing
WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD
easy there henry
whos henry what thef uck?
*faint laughter from Britian*
*history teachers crying*
Do they even teach anything other than American history to Americans?