I'm the captain of this ship.

textpostsrus:

nicevagina:

your thighs won’t touch if you have my head between them

this post will solve all insecurity issues i swear

(via dumbbellsandfastcars)

shubbabang:

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consent is a hell of a thing aint it

shubbabang:

those times when you stretch and end up cracking a joint so loud its just

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vegan-yums:

spicy Thai totchos / recipe

bagleopard:

the lady at the sandwich shop today was like “that’ll be 4.20 luv, would you like it toasted?” and i nodded and said “blaze it” and the guy working the sandwich toaster lost it 

(via why-not-fabulous)

radicaljocy:

Remember in the 90’s there used be a room in your house that was called the “computer room”.

(via hi)

oomshi:

walk walk fashion baby

coelacanthteeth:

never ever apologize to me for your dog being too excited to see me

a dog could knock me to the ground and give me a black eye and I would still hug it and love it because dogs hurt because they love too much I love dogs

(Source: tinyjutsu, via hi)

vampirevvekend:

WHEN BOYS WEAR BUTTON UPS BUT ROLL THE SLEEVES TO THEIR ELBOWS 

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(via runmywaytofit)

bespectacledbisexual:

i like that we say “oh, man” to express disappointment

because men are disappointing

(via milk-eggs-vodka)

ayeleesh:

couple-of-dumbasses:

leviisacutelittleshit:

colourfulpantsandarainbowhat:

beggars-opera:

colourfulpantsandarainbowhat:

WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD

easy there henry

whos henry what thef uck?

*faint laughter from Britian*

*history teachers crying*

Do they even teach anything other than American history to Americans?

(via milk-eggs-vodka)

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